Now that The Red Kitchen is on its way to an April publication, I am free to work on my next memoir. The current title is Pre-Existing Conditions and takes up my dubious rise in the health insurance industry. And my retreat to a Missouri farm where I launched a second career as a writer. Part of the writing process for me is to look at words—and the subtle meanings they can mask.
The word “interesting” comes to mind. Of course, this Chinese curse pretty much qualifies as the understatement of the year.
This year a woman who barely knows me said, “You’ve certainly had an interesting life.” First off, her tone sounded fatalistic—is mine about over? Did she accidentally touch a layer of regret that I didn’t do more with the time I have? Or was it simply a compliment? Many years ago, a relative said I had an “interesting life” but meant sort of sad since I didn’t have a husband, owned a home, and had moved sixty times. Maybe “interesting” can be both a plus or a minus.
And now we come to this past year. I think the tree ornament just about sums it up in so many ways for so many people. For the rich it was a spectacular year—a windfall of tax breaks and profits. For the poor it was the worst year since . . . the Great Depression, the plague of ___(your choice), and not looking too much better for early 2021. And for everyone else—we are a smidge less screwed.
Here are a few words I’d like to flush in the new year.
“Those” people is candidate number one. If that isn’t another word for condescension and disdain I don’t know what is. Depending on who you talk to and where you live, “those” can mean how you voted, who you follow on Twitter, and a dozen other dividing lines. It can mean anyone you don’t like, a place you would never visit, or want to include in your circle of virtue. Let’s all just stop shoving people into camps and making mainstream media, politicians, and dubious pundits rich! I think the whole lot of them need to do this:
I’m sick of another word we throw around – “evil.” The list keeps growing; first and always Russia, China is closing in, North Korea, Cuba is in the hall of forever, Iran is the axis, and Venezuela, to name a few. It’s a long sad list of those “evil” countries and their leaders as well.
Here’s another word I hope has a short shelf life. The “soul” of the nation. Merriam Webster has 8 definitions of soul—not one refers to a landmass. If we choose the second definition – “The spiritual principle embodied in human beings, all rational and spiritual beings, or the universe” – we’ve got some work to do. Maybe stop bombing, deporting, invading, exploiting, starving, and punishing other human beings.
But here’s something that always makes me both sad and happy at the same time. When you go to another one of those countries, the people there are friendly, they don’t hate us, and they often share the same challenges, hopes, and dreams. They love their country as much as we are raised to love ours. Homeland is more than security.
I’m not sure 2021 is going to be what we like to call (even gluten-free) a
My best hope is that we’ve learned some things in 2020 and can apply them to 2021.
If not, we’ll have to live out another common phrase – here’s hoping.
“Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.” George Santayana
Photo credits: Eyeglasses – Dimitry Ratushny, Outdoor Toilet – Amy Reed, The Scrabble Tiles – Brett Jordan, Piece of Cake – Cristina Matos-Albers
Not sure how I missed this post. Love the humor in confronting the truth of our need as a species to label. I believe there is a psychological reason we do this, it had some evolutionary benefit. It’s safe to say, as you so eloquently point out, we can be done now. Time for us to level up or be leveled. Thanks, Barbara.
Thank you all for your comments! They are always most welcome and greatly appreciated. Don’t hesitate to disagree or share your views – that’s the whole point of my blog – let’s talk and in the process learn! Thanks again, Barbara
Barbara, Thanks for your thoughts here. The pandemic reminds me that my maternal grandmother died in the 1918 influenza epidemic in St. Louis. You may know about how at that time they left bodies in their beds and opened the windows to the cold winter air. Then they awaited the dreaded call “bring out your dead” from the wagons that came around the neighborhoods. Nobody in the family ever knew where my mother’s mother was buried. Here’s hoping 2021 is a better year for everyone all over the world.
Excellent as always, Barbara! Re “those” [people]: whenever we fix a label on another person or other creature, we relieve ourselves of the annoying effort of really knowing and understanding them, of seeing the many ways in which we and they are different forms of us.
Hi, Barbara,
I was told that the trick is to live a life that’s interesting enough to make great stories to tell your grandkids but not so interesting that you don’t live long enough to have grandkids. Seems to have worked for you!
You’re so right to focus on those words. I might add “hero” and “cowardly”–both misused now. Sloppy language leads to dangerous thinking. Keep fighting the good fight!
Happy 2021, Barbara!
I love your remarks and am looking forward to your book this spring. I think most of us are fatigued with the posturing on both sides of the aisle. I just hope we will gain a little enlightenment and inspiration from 2020 and the previous years and direct our vision forward rather than at an imagined past.
All Best!
Hi Barbara, I like your post. Specially the 2020 Xmas paper roll pic. That one gave me a big chuckle. Eagerly waiting for your book. Geoffrey
Hi Barbara, I like your post. Specially the 2020 Xmas paper roll pic. That one gave me a big chuckle. Eagerly waiting for your book. Geoffrey
You have led an AMAZING life, dear Barbara. I appreciate your outlook.
In my teaching profession, we put too many labels on students’ behavior and learning styles. Let’s leave that to a medical doctor, making a diagnosis
concerning health.
Kids need lots of experiences to develop their personalities and make respectful choices with loving and caring parents. Unfortunately there isn’t equal opportunity in choosing parents.
Of course we all have different personalities. It is difficult to developed and equation to fit all.
Excellent sentiments, Barbara. I get so frustrated with how folks lump things together. I particularly hate it, for example, when someone (usually a politician) says “The American People” want something or don’t want something. I don’t doubt that s/he speaks for some of The American People, but surely not all of them. “Those” people. I love that you highlighted that sentiment. Happy New Year, friend. Be well. Keep writing.
Yes, folks have launched that “interesting” at me about my life…what to make of their perspective? Can we ever calm down about “evil” nations…let them be? I can’t wait to read your new book! You do have a way with words…I loved the excerpt “vibrations.”